Rap Battle Royale- Nickelodeon VS Cartoon Network VS Disney VS Fox TV
by Douglas X. Pierce
Summary: Based on Epic Rap Battles of History. 5 cartoon channels compete in a rap battle royale. Read as cartoon channel diss out one another. Don't like? Don't read! Rated T for censored swearing.
1. Original 5 channels

**Was going to release last Thursday, but I decided to hold it back because of ERB 51! Enjoy...**

**Beat: Freestyle Instrumental (slow tempo) by Ace Marie**

**Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons**

**Cartoon Network (Background: live action TownsVille)**

**VERSUS**

**Nickelodeon (Background: Patchy the Pirate's living room) **

* * *

**Cartoon Network- FireSpeed**

Let's start this rap battle, you seeing what I'm CN?

Yes this network has gotten dumber even with Avatar, that I'm dealing.

Go back to your TV Land or blast your Turtles with a Sonic Boom.

Move It because I'll blow you up with just TNT doom.

Better wish your Fairy God's for something funny in live action.

It's too bad your yellow sponge is not a passion.

I actually entertain my audience, you're just making animation grosser.

Better Speak Up and stop rapping, I dare you to rhyme effort closer.

Really? A second Spongebob movie of him?

I can have a better Adventure Time with Tintin.

Your today jokes are just about someone shi**ed.

I would name other things wrong with you, but the 90's version already listed it.

Bring up Nicktoons, I'll just be all around defensive.

Call me the stronger Teen Titans and I don't mean by offensive.

**Nickelodeon- Shamewtube666**

Hey man, don't be a Total Drama queen.

Or I'll toss you under the sea, and become the rap king.

Why can't we be brothers, like Drake and Josh, but better.

You grew up with no friends, not even imaginary ones, you 'Bread Loser'

You want to break biology with Uncle Grandpa? Fine, I don't give a *farts* anymore!

I even can attract Latinos with Dora the Explorer!

When you were busy with game shows, I gave off real sitcoms.

With that crappy animation, you can't serve up rap bombs.

With a wave of a wand, you'll be more putrid then a Catdog!

I'll take your small profit, and push it under a rug.

You wanna talk jokes? All of your cartoons are recycled and lazy!

If you ever dream of winning, you must be a bigger troll than Meghan McCarthy.

I grew up with fairies, but now I have witches!

Heck, even Dish Network doesn't even want this *farts*

* * *

Suddenly they heard the sound of Mickey Mouse's laughing

The two turn their heads and see DisneyLand, with a new rapper at the front gate.

She frowned looking at her opponents.

The rapper grabs the mic and starts dissing both of them.

**Disney Channel- Siily Lilly**

Hotdog! I'm living the suit life, boys!

This princess just left her castle, boys!

Walt Disney is the motherfu***r who invented cartoons, boys!

Buggs, nor Pinkie, has anything against Mickey Mouse!

He'll be the one steering in the house.

I better finish you off, before heading back to the club house.

Hey Ferb, I know what were doing today.

I'm going to diss both these c**ts, today!

Hey, Nick, for each of your sitcoms, I can make a better one!

Watch how Gravity Falls on your movie profits, even though there is none.

And Cartoon Network, stop johnny Testing and just do!

You turn everyone off with Clarence and Teen Titans Go

I have a freakin' amusement park to go with my name!

Soon both of you will be canceled and put to shame.

* * *

Suddenly, Peter VS the Giant chicken were rumbling, causing destruction to all three backgrounds.

Then a grown boy smirked walking into the arena with a mic in his hands.

After Peter VS chicken was done, the background changed.

The background was now the Fox news network.

**Fox TV- Jurassic Storm**

Breaking news! These channel's are as childish as The Hub!

Cartoon Network, for your nighttime block, I'm the pimp!

I have the long running Simpsons behind my back!

Nick you need to get our life back on track.

I gave what people wanted since the dawn of day.

Your princesses as fu*king stereotypical, Disney!

You guys have nothing against Fox

And my news program is anything but foax.

Enough with your half-a***d cartoons, and bring back the classics.

No wait, even those were sh*t, so start with the basics

I can represent America with just one dad

A petition against me? Now that's just sad

Watching your shows, makes us more retarded then Peter Griffin.

So back down and fell my profit rein.

* * *

After the four rappers were finished with their disses, the camera changed to something else.

Inside a toy store, a brony was holding a Pinkie Pie plush Doll.

He was cheerfully was walking down the toy isle, filled with Hasbro merchandise.

He kissed the Pinkie Pie doll, before rapping.

**Discovery Family/ The Hub- Duperghoul**

Dear Princess Celestia, if you are in a rap battle, just stay calm and you'll easily win.

These haters have no idea, that they'll regret for dragging me in!

I'm owned by both Discovery network, but most importantly, Hasbro!

I am all over Christmas lists and toy isles, bro.

Cartoon Network, just get adult swim and toonami off your schedule.

Nickelodeon, get all those sitcoms off your schedule.

Disney, add more cartoons to your schedule.

Fox TV, get a longer time frame schedule.

I have the largest fan base, though haters gonna hate.

Different name, same shows that are great.

First up we'll have Dan VS pitiful verses, followed by Rapping is Magic

Your anime vs Transformers? You better panic

To blow off steam, a littlest pet is what I got you guys

Oh, one ore thing, buy our toys!

* * *

**WHO WON?  
WHOSE NEXT?  
YOU DECIDE!**

**(Shows static) EPIC RAP BATTLES OF (Screen goes of air for a few seconds)**

**... CARTOONS**

**Credits...**

**Firespeed as Cartoon Network**

**Shamewtube666 as Nickelodeon**

**Siily Lilly as Disney Channel**

**Jurassic Storm as Fox TV**

**Duperghoul (me) as Discovery Family 'formerly known as The Hub'**


	2. a remastered rematch

**Good Evening, Rappers! **

**This is basically part rematch, part remastered battle! Who knows, there might be a special surprise, again!**

**Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons**

**Nicktoons**

**VS**

**Disney XD**

* * *

**Nicktoons- Matt**

\- Hey man, don't be a Total Drama queen.

Or I'll toss you under the sea, and become the rap king.

\- Why can't we be brothers, like Drake and Josh, but better.

You grew up with no friends, not even imaginary ones, you 'Bread Loser'

\- You want to break biology with Uncle Grandpa? Fine, I don't care anymore!

I even can attract Latinos with Dora the Explorer!

\- When you were busy with game shows, I gave off real sitcoms.

With that crappy animation, you can't serve up rap bombs.

\- With a wave of a wand, you'll be more putrid then a Catdog!

I'll take your small profit, and push it under a rug.

\- You wanna talk jokes? All of your cartoons are recycled and lazy!

If you ever dream of winning, you must be a bigger troll than Meghan McCarthy.

\- Your night block tries so hard to be Fox TV and Comedy Central

I'll easily counter sue, as long as my paws are on patrol.

\- I grew up with fairies, but now I have witches!

Heck, even Dish Network doesn't even want this bitch

**Disney Channel- Siily Lilly with mix of Walt's verse from ERB**

\- M-I-C! I rock the mic properly!

K-E-Y! Turning profits, I've got the key!

\- Hotdog! I'm living the suite life, boy!

This princess just left her castle, boy!

\- Walt Disney is the motherfucker who invented cartoons, boy!

Buggs, nor Pinkie, has anything against Mickey Mouse!

\- He'll be the one steering in the house.

I better finish you off, before heading back to the club house.

\- Hey Ferb, I know what were doing today.

I'm going to diss both this cunt, today!

\- Hey, for each of your sitcoms, I can make a better one!

Watch how Gravity Falls on your movie profits, even though there is none.

\- I have a freakin' amusement park to go with my name!

Soon both of you will be canceled and put to shame.

\- I'm powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic!

With only 3 circles, I dominate the planet!

\- Clearly, there's nobody near me!

I'm owning this battle! In fact, I own this whole series!

\- So hop on my Steamboat, but don't rock it!

I'll put a smile on your face and green in your pocket!

\- You'll be safe and insured when you're under my employ!

Now, look at it! Gaze upon my empire of joy!

* * *

a kid crashes through, leading a parade of classic 90s-2000's of Cartoon Network character.

He ends up on in the theater for cn's movie night

**Cartoon Network- FireSpeed**

-The Cool Cartoon Creator is about to cancel these TV channels  
with every hit after hit I made, this Network is something you can't handle.

Even when I first started off, each insult will come back like a Boomerang.  
See what I Say about making quality ching change;

-And what am I watching here? A poor Discovery, magic crankies, and Dickelodeon?  
Also, when it comes to Fox, they will become extinct with pandemonium.

-You want to see three favorite shows? Ha! Representing you is a doubt.  
This verse would be a movie long, but even I got them coming out.

-Trying so hard to be entertaining unlike Nick's behavior recently.  
Viewers watch your back? You're not acting very "neatly".

-And Disney, aren't you suppose to be bigger than you own franchises?  
*Impersonating Walt Disney* Yes, Yes I am *Normal* Well, that's a REAL despise.

-It's a mystery of how this obscure company got money off of merchandise.  
Look, I like all of you, but this is no safe place for friendship, Pinkie Pie.

-So You Think You Can copyright an Idol, guy?  
I'll show you Breaking News since '89.

-I even made Adults into my maturity  
while Swimming in Victory of my own Toonami.

-I might not be on Dish or Netflix,  
but I'm still making a fresh diss that can make you all sick.

-Move It aside already, I've blown minds since '92.  
Speak Up? Level Up? Actions that people already knew.

-I made my demands to those at banned position  
with commands I've planned and stand above in High Definition.

-Listen, what I have to say to shine the bright  
before I'll have to kick you back to black and white.

-Remember you're watching where expert's have effort;  
So stick around for more of the better Cartoon Network.

* * *

Suddenly, Peter VS the Giant chicken were rumbling, causing destruction to all three backgrounds.

Then a grown boy smirked walking into the arena with a mic in his hands.

After Peter VS chicken was done, the background changed.

The background was now the Fox news network.

**Fox TV- Jurassic Storm**

\- Breaking news! These channel's are as childish as The Hub!

Cartoon Network, for your nighttime block, I'm the pimp!

\- I have the long running Simpsons behind my back!

Nick, you need to get our life back on track.

\- I can easily rival Comedy Central's South Park, with Family Guy

People boycotted your crap years ago Nick, bye

\- I came with bombs, more explosive than Bay.

I gave what people wanted since the dawn of day.

\- Your love stories and musicals suck, Disney!

Trying to rip off Skylanders with some Infinity?

\- It's a fact, all your teen actors grow into nothing or sluts.

I'll fry bob burgers on your steamed butts.

\- You guys have nothing against the Fox

And my news program is anything but foax.

\- I can represent America with just one dad

A petition against me? Now that's just sad

\- Watching your shows, makes us more retarded than Peter Griffin.

So back down and fell my profit rein.

* * *

After the four rappers were finished with their disses, the camera changed to something else.

Inside a toy store, a brony was holding a Pinkie Pie plush Doll.

He was cheerfully was walking down the toy aisle, filled with Hasbro merchandise.

He hugs the Pinkie Pie doll, before rapping.

**Discovery Family- Duperghoul**

\- Dear Princess Celestia, if you are in a rap battle, just stay calm and you'll easily win.

Take a look at today's line up, thanks for dragging me in!

\- Good Evening, and welcome to your last Haunting Hour.

Tonight's family movie is brought to you by, idiots whose jokes are sour!

\- But first, we'll have Dan VS pitiful verses, followed by Rapping is Magic

Your anime vs Transformers? You better panic

\- Today on Family Game Night, I flip the script turning them into Holograms

I'll need to wash my brain off, because of the crystals gems

\- I'm owned by both Discovery network, but most importantly, Hasbro!

I am all over Christmas lists and toy aisles, bro.

\- I have the largest fan base here, though haters gonna hate.

Different name, same shows that are great.

\- Cartoon Network, get the adult stuff off your schedule

Fox TV, get more shows on your schedule

\- Nickelodeon, your sponge will soon be swimming with the dead bubble guppies.

Disney, your mouse will tremble, once I place him in a pound with puppies.

\- No offence, but be careful with your shows, I can sense they'll rip off South Park

In a bad way of course, I know better to be family friendly and still a little dark.

\- Star VS Evil or Steven Universe? Can't we all get along and say they both suck?

Everypony already despises you, no need to diss you, Nick.

\- Disney, let's work together and make an excellent PMV!

Fans turn to my clips from online and Netflix, instead of on Tv.

\- To blow off steam, a littlest pet is what I got you guys

Oh, one more thing, buy our toys!

* * *

The lights go out around the rappers and an announcer is heard saying "Ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome to the stage, KJMusical!"

An audience is heard applauding and KJ walks out of a red curtain with a microphone in his hand.

KJ begins to rap on a cliche stand up comedy stage.

**Comedy Central - KJMusical (Every few lines or so, the audience can be heard laughing)**

\- First of all ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show.

Watch me give these TV channels some misery and woe!

\- I've researched you all, these facts will be hard to swallow

As I diss all five of you here, Live at the Apollo!

\- First of all, Cartoon Network, I think I'll start with you.

You're not bad, for a juvenile channel from 1992!

\- You entertain kids, I'm the comedy form of Superman.

I'm on Dish Networking, unlike you, CNN &amp; Boomerang!

\- Only three shows people like now? I just want to scream!

And were you sued over the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme?

\- As for you Nickelodeon, I'll make sure there's no applause!

You're owned by Viacom, the Big Brother of Copyright laws!

\- Sit Down, Shut Up Jr. with some more weight to carry!

You decline with quality, need I mention A Pal For Gary?

\- Disney, stop rhyming words with themselves like they're fire

And go tell Walt to stop buying companies for his empire!

\- Your Renaissance days are over, right now don't you see?

You're insecure about sequels; most go straight to DVD!

\- And what does Fox TV say with only 3 cartoons still running?

After a few years, yellow skin and burgers won't be stunning.

\- American Dad, Family Guy, Futurama, comic cartoon series.

Oh wait a minute! I'm still airing Futurama since 2013!

\- I'm known for Beavis, Butthead, Drawn Together &amp; South Park, boys!

Family Discovery, you're only known for changing robots and little girls toys!

\- Hell, if it wasn't for Friendship Is Magic and all of its babble,

Your product selling ass wouldn't even be in this rap battle!

\- I'm a TV giant, you all will disappear from air after this fight.

That's my verse ladies and gentlemen, thank you and goodnight!

* * *

**WHO WON?  
WHOSE NEXT?  
YOU DECIDE!**

**(Shows static) EPIC RAP BATTLES OF (Screen goes of air for a few seconds)**

**... CARTOONS**

**Credits...**

**Shamewtube666/ Matt as Nickelodeon, Children's Choice Awards background**

**Siily Lilly as Disney Channel, Disneyland background**

**Firespeed as Cartoon Network, commercial break theather background**

**Jurassic Storm as Fox TV, Fox News background**

**Duperghoul (me) as Discovery Family 'formerly known as The Hub', Toy Aisle background**

**KJMusical as Comedy Central, Stand up comedy stage background**


End file.
